Who Are You Really?Posted: August 27, 2008
As I mentioned before, I am a product of the upbringing of my Mother. My Mom lives for others. She loves being around others, talking to others, serving others, listening to others, seeking out others. Uber extrovert. She is an amazing hostess and can put anyone at ease. She’s pretty, she’s loud, she’s funny, she’s a bit crazy, and she’s rarely home. She’s amazing.
She raised me and my sisters to be her. Isn’t that what most parents tend to do? Live their lives and imprint them on their children? For a long time, that’s who I thought I was and that’s how I behaved. I had pretty much everyone fooled, including myself. In the last eight years (wow, has it been that long?) since I left my parents home, I’ve slowly been watching the layers of others and their expectations peel off of me and the true Ambre emerge.
I was twenty when I realized I wasn’t my Mom as much as I admire her. As I set off to uncover the true me, I started taking the Meyers-Brigg test annually. It was a barometer of sorts of my honest with myself and my ability to see what was a knee jerk reaction based on training and what was a heart reaction based on my true self.
This year, I am pleased to say, I have arrived. Erik and I took the test last night and I do believe it to be dead on. I read the little discripion of “who I was” and it was almost scary in its accuracy.
According to the test, I am an INFP. That stands for Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. I am considered to be an Idealist and within that category, a healer. The results surmised that
“Healers present a calm and serene face to the world, and can seem shy, even distant around others. But inside they’re anything but serene, having a capacity for personal caring rarely found in the other types. Healers care deeply about the inner life of a few special persons, or about a favorite cause in the world at large. And their great passion is to heal the conflicts that trouble individuals, or that divide groups, and thus to bring wholeness, or health, to themselves, their loved ones, and their community.
Healers have a profound sense of idealism that comes from a strong personal sense of right and wrong. They conceive of the world as an ethical, honorable place, full of wondrous possibilities and potential goods. In fact, to understand Healers, we must understand that their deep commitment to the positive and the good is almost boundless and selfless, inspiring them to make extraordinary sacrifices for someone or something they believe in. Set off from the rest of humanity by their privacy and scarcity (around one percent of the population), Healers can feel even more isolated in the purity of their idealism.
Also, Healers might well feel a sense of separation because of their often misunderstood childhood. Healers live a fantasy-filled childhood-they are the prince or princess of fairy tales-an attitude which, sadly, is frowned upon, or even punished, by many parents. With parents who want them to get their head out of the clouds, Healers begin to believe they are bad to be so fanciful, so dreamy, and can come to see themselves as ugly ducklings. In truth, they are quite OK just as they are, only different from most others-swans reared in a family of ducks.
At work, Healers are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. Healers are keenly aware of people and their feelings, and relate well with most others. Because of their deep-seated reserve, however, they can work quite happily alone. When making decisions, Healers follow their heart not their head, which means they can make errors of fact, but seldom of feeling. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, like the other Idealists, a remarkable facility with language. They have a gift for interpreting stories, as well as for creating them, and thus often write in lyric, poetic fashion. Frequently they hear a call to go forth into the world and help others, a call they seem ready to answer, even if they must sacrifice their own comfort.”
That is dead on. Crazy. Even the explanation they gave about my romantic side was pretty accurate as far as my history goes:
Isabel is an Idealist Healer (INFP). She doesn’t really enjoy playing the field. That caused her too many heartaches. In college, her boyfriend was one of the most sought after good-looking guys on campus. However, he was shallow, inconsiderate, and straying. She stayed with him too long, hoping he would finally wake up to what he had in her. Later she started dating a man with whom she could laugh. She admired his intellectual capacity. He suggested that they live together. She said she’d live with him after marriage. They are now engaged.
The test took less then seven minutes. Take it and let me know what you thought of your results. Were you completely honest?
INFP result explanation from here.
INFP romantic explanation from here.